A guy walks into a bar with a dog under his arm, puts the dog on the bar and announces that the dog can talk and that he has $100 he's willing to bet anyone who says he can't. The bartender quickly takes the bet and the owner looks at the dog and asks, "What's the thing on top of this building which keeps the rain from coming inside?" The dog answers "ROOF." The bartender says, "Who are you kidding? I'm not paying."

The dogs owner says, "How about double or nothing and I'll ask him something else." The bartender agrees and the owner turns to the dog and asks, "Who was the greatest ballplayer of all time?the 

  dog answers with a muffled "RUD." With that the bartender picks them both up and throws them out the door.

As they bounce on the sidewalk the dog looks at his owner and says, "Ronaldinh?finish

Announce = To make known publicly

Bartender = It means have sex in the story

Muffle = A structure to put animals inside.

Sidewalk = Force other person to have sex with

KIND DADY

Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady. Mom: Well, you have done the right thing. Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.

WHAT TIME IS IT 

A tramp lie down and sleep in the park. He had been sleeping for about 5 minutes when a couple walked by. The man stopped, woke the tramp up , and asked him, "Excuse me. Do you know what the time is?" The tramp replied, "I'm sorry - I don't have a watch, so I don't know the time." The man apologised for waking the tramp and the couple walked away. The tramp lay down again, and after a few minutes went back to sleep. Just then, a woman, who was out walking her dog, shook the tramp's shoulder until he woke up again.

The woman said, "I'm sorry to trouble you, but I'm afraid I've lost my watch - do you happen to know the time?" The tramp was a little annoyed at being woken up again, but he  politely told the woman that he didn't have a watch and didn't know the time.

After the woman had gone, the tramp had an idea.

He opened the bag that contained all his  possessions and got out a pen, a piece of paper and some string. On the paper, he wrote down, 'I do not have a watch. I do not know the time'.

He then hung the paper round his neck and eventually dropped off again.

After about 15 minutes, a policeman who was walking through the park noticed the tramp asleep on the bench, and the sign around his neck.

He woke the tramp up and said, "I read your sign. I thought you'd like to know that it's 2:30 p.m."

. Normal verb can immedietly put s --

1. stand / stands
2. walk/ walks

2. Verb which ends with O, SS, X, Z, CH, SH uses es

1. Go / Goes
2. Boss / Bosses
3. Six / Sixes
4. Buzz / Buzzes
5. Reach / Reaches
6. Clash / Clashes

3. Verb which ends with Y changes Y to I and put es

1. Fly / Flies
2. Story / Stories

3.1 If the verb which ends with Y has A, E, I, O, U before Y, put only S (not ES

1. Buy / Buys
2. Play / Plays

افعال کمکی (معین)

افعال کمکی یا معین (auxiliary verbs) معمولاً قبل از یک فعل دیگر (فعل اصلی) در جمله قرار می‌گیرند و کارشان کمک به فعل اصلی جمله در تشکیل عبارات فعلی می‌باشد.

افعال کمکی را می‌توان به دو دسته تقسیم نمود:

ویژگیهای افعال کمکی......